The Hidden Revelations: First Light Read online

  I didn't want to have to be depressed, not this soon, but I could feel it was too late but as much as I didn't like it, I couldn't stop it either. It's like someone has taken away the sun in your world, the happiness, the only source of stableness in your life, and now it's gone and there's nothing I can do about it besides bracing the darkness head on. I was nearly always a happy person for a whole 11 months now, barring a little party incident, but today in my head I wasn't ruling out a bottle of tequila and cliff jumping. I knew it was a ridiculous thought, and somewhat dramatic, but I really had nothing left, nothing and no one that I could rely on or trust. I felt like I had been torn to pieces. It's hard to come back from thinking like this. Other people don't understand, they think it's a phase and class you as attention deprived because you've been through a tragedy. That's not it. I thought with logic which all drew the same question: what am I living for? Answer: absolutely nothing.

  I sighed and went back to writing notes, frustrated and exhausted.

  When the bell rung for second session English, I didn't notice until Rosetta called my name and was waving her hand in front of my face. “Are you alright Lays, you feeling okay?” she asked, a little anxious.

  Her short Blondie-orange hair today was tied in a ponytail and her eyebrows were creased together in confusion and worry.

  She was always looking out for me, she sort of acted like she was my sister, probably because she had two younger brothers.

  “Huh? Oh yeah, just got a headache, thats all,” I reassured her with a grimace, but she didn't look fooled.

  I was always a good liar and actor, not necessarily meaning I liked lying, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Strangely enough I could never get past her, she was no fool, but I do blame it on myself for constantly giving myself away to her because we were friends. I didn't want to betray her trust either.

  “Hmm,” she said, meaningful. “Maybe you should go home if you're feeling sick?” She looked at my face, but not trusting my voice I just shook my head, thankful she didn't press on the subject.

  Rosetta walked with me to English in silence. When we got to C block; my English class, she told me she would meet me at the lunch table, then she walked off to her class. In truth, I hadn't been feeling like I fit in with my group lately. I always found I felt awkward or utterly bored, I guess I was the outsider in my group, every group has one right? Even though everyone was welcoming, I just felt like I didn't always belong with them. I never admitted to anyone else but I was always curious about the two guys who sat at the end of our table and never really talked to anyone at our end. It was a long table, I thought. They were sort of interesting I guess you could say, but it was like I could feel something was different about them and I felt relaxed around them. Hunter and Fredric Bale, both names I absolutely adored. I wasn't sure if they were brothers or cousins but there was definitely a strong family resemblance between the two. Not that I checked them out or anything, I just notice things. Hunter was more lean than Fredric, he had brown hair, and Fredric had dirty blonde hair, but they both had similar shaggy type haircuts. They both had really nice tanned skin, more tan than mine though. I had trouble keeping my tan looking vibrant, whereas they looked like they had no trouble. They were ominous with their light brown eyes, but they only looked as tall as me, and I was pretty tall for a girl, especially a girl my age.

  I walked into English and took a seat beside Megan Porter, one of my many friends who sits with me at the lunch table.

  “Hey Layla,” she greeted me.

  Megan was average height, average body, had blue eyes and really short black hair streaked with all different colours. She was nice, kind of, but she had one fatal flaw; she was absolutely in love with Luke Verona.

  “Hi Megan, what have you been up to?” I asked, trying to make small talk as I took out my book and pen.

  I didn't want her to get suspicious of my behaviour either, I had to put my acting skills into place, I didn't feel like getting questioned, and because Megan is one of the biggest gossips in the school. I think I'd prefer to keep this quiet.

  “Not much, oh... Um, I did hook up with Luke after all. I hope you're not mad?”

  I looked at her face, it was covered with worry and bit of fear I think.

  That I had to laugh at, although it didn't sound just right to me I continued to force it out of my lungs and it sounded choked.

  She saw my relaxed expression and I saw the worry fade away from her face.

  “No, I'm not mad. I'm happy for you, it's not like I liked him in 'that way,'” I said, using my fingers to emphasize the words that way.

  Luke was a sweet guy and all, its just I felt like he wasn 't right for me, like he could do better, and I know he liked me... a lot, but I could have never precipitated those same feelings back for him, even if I wanted to.

  “Oh, okay. So you don't mind?”

  “No, of course not. I heard he liked you anyway.”

  I was still smiling at her as smiley as I could and I think she couldn 't help but smile back. At least I don't think she suspected anything was all I could worry about. I think I was doing a good job so far of hiding how I was contemplating my existence, and that in itself was pitiful to think. I know how vain and conceited I must have sounded to myself today, but really I wasn't a vain person, it was how I was truly feeling deciding my next move, and it was not enjoyable. Major depression disorder, or clinical depression. About a week after my mum died, dad sent me to a psychologist, who then diagnosed me. It's a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. Everything I silently fought against everyday, my personal battle that only one other person ever made that fight easier. And I hate him, but I miss him, and more worringly, I'm scared I can't fight this on my own. He saw what the meds did to me so I stopped taking them, and we sought natural remedies instead, but even thinking about them made me flinch and reluctant to attempt them.

  Class hadn't started yet, but when I saw Megan cut off in the middle of our one way conversation and look away, I thought the teacher walked in.

  I looked around and I couldn't see Mr. Stern anywhere, but then I noticed a guy was sitting in the chair next to mine. He hadn't been there before and I didn't see him sit down. I didn't have any objections or anything, that chair was always empty but I felt strange sitting next to hi m. Although I had never seen him before, he felt familiar in a way. I sort of had Goosebumps running all over my skin from his presence which was creeping me out a tad.

  Mr. Stern walked in right on time and told us we had a new student; the guy Iwas sitting next to of course.

  His name was James Archer, and he and his family just moved here from Britain. He is 16years old and he was home schooled before he came to Australia. But it was strange, he didn't seem to have a strong British accent, it was almost like a mixture of a few different accents. That can't be possible.

  I spent the whole of the lesson glancing over at him in my peripheral vision when I thought he wouldn't notice. He just seemed very peculiar to me. I couldn't help it. He was good looking, what with his Sandy blonde hair cropped short, perfect fair skin, light baby blue eyes and huge muscled arms. They were really big for a dude his age, every time he moved his hand to write his muscles in his arm flexed, but that 's not why I was looking at him. He looked... different, he felt different, like there was warm energy radiating off of him that I could feel. He was a ladies man, and I could tell just by his physique he could get any girl he wanted.

  I thought I saw the corner of his mouth pull up once as if he knew I was looking, so he was probably showing off with the whole muscle flexing thing anyway.

  Luke caught up with me while I was walking to D block for Spanish class. Fortunately he was in my Spanish class so I didn't have to walk alone and focus on plotting my end. I had decided, as soon as I got home I was going to lock myself away from the world and eventually disa
ppear altogether until I came up with a more reasonable option than cliff jumping. I worried I would survive any attempts I made, which could screw everything up. If I was going to die, it was going to be on my terms and work with out a hitch. I couldn't take faking this for even one more day. I was hurting, and I was mad, not a good combination. I had turned instantly miserable and every hour that went by felt like a day in it's own. I had to think of something good.

  “So... have you talked to Megan lately?” Luke asked after a while of walking by my side silently.

  I glanced over at him and he was eyeing my expression, looking worried.

  I couldn't help but force out another laugh. I wasn't that scary was I?

  He was still looking at me but he seemed to relax a little.

  “Luke, it's okay,” I said after I stopped laughing. “No I'm not mad, I'm happy for you two, really. And you know that we weren't like that anyway. Don't get me wrong, you're a terrific guy, but I think I'm glad you're with Megan instead.”

  “Yeah, I know. But are you sure you won't give me another chance?” He looked so innocent when he said it that I sighed sympathetically.

  The night of the party I made Adam take me to, I accidentally kissed Luke, and it led to more than just kissing. But when we got to a room and he started taking my clothes off, he leaned over me and I decided it was a bad idea. But he wouldn't get off of me so I punched him in the face and ran out on him. I was very drunk and disorientated and I did more stupid things than just that in the same night. However, that was when I knew Luke and I were never meant to be together. He has apologized several times ever since, and we are friends now, but he doesn't want to give up on the idea of him and me being together, and this is why I think him and Megan being together is a good thing. It will help him get over the whole situation.

  “Luke, Megan has liked you since the third grade apparently, its about time you realised it alright. Don't hurt her because she's a good girl.” His face fell slightly and he nodded, keeping his eyes to the ground.

  “Hey Luke,” I said with a slight smile, claiming his attention and changing to a more lighter subject. “I'm not that scary am I?” I asked to lighten the awkwardness.

  He laughed too. “I don't know, you're pretty scary to me,” he said jokingly.

  I shoved him softly and he shoved me back playfully, smiling and changing the conversation, acting like his usual self again.

  We got to Spanish and we were just on time when we walked in, hanging our jackets on the back of our seats and sitting down.

  My seat was usually next to Jason Barnes, but for some reason he was sitting half way across the classroom next to his cousin Eddie Maine.

  Today was awfully weird.

  Aw well, looks like I'll be sitting alone, I thought to myself. I took my seat and started talking to Luke who sits behind me, just to pass the time.

  Class started and Miss Devon silenced us while she introduced a new student. When she walked through the door I instantly became uncomfortable, not because she was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen, but because I was getting that same familiar feeling that I got with James. The Goosebumps came back and this time I got a tingling feeling in my stomach. Wait a minute, come to think about it, she kind of looked like James too; the same wavy sandy blonde hair type but with black streaks in it to her shoulders, perfect fair skin, similar facial features except hers were softer than James, and light baby blue eyes. They could almost be twins.

  “Class this is Elane Archer, I want you to help her around as much as possible.” Miss Devon wasnt much for introductions, but she was kind... on her good days, I thought evilly.

  Miss Devon instructed her to take the chair next to me because that was the only spare chair. What a bloody coincidence! First James sat next to me, now Elane, which was a very uncommon name by the way. What else could happen to me today??

  I heard a few murmurs when the new girl came over to me and sat down in the spare chair. She was really pretty, she could have been a cover model for all I knew. Well anyways, that explains why James and Elane looked alike; they were siblings... I think. I compared the facts. James Archer and Elane Archer, both of them come on the same day, same last name, look similar... yep, I was positive they were related.

  “Hello, my name is Elane Archer,” a soft soprano voice said from beside me, interrupting my thoughts.

  I looked over at her and she was smiling warmly at me, her hand extended towards me in greeting.

  “Er… Hi, I'm Layla Atkins, you can call me Lays for short if you want.” I smiled back at her and shook her soft hand very swiftly.

  She gasped and pulled her hand back.

  “What? Whats wrong?” I looked at her shocked face but she just smiled, the shocked expression disappearing instantly.

  “Nothing, I just remembered I forgot to, ah… tell my brothers and sister where to meet me.” She had a very formal tone in her voice, which was kind of weird considering this days society slang. Her accent was a touch British and maybe I dunno, American.

  “Oh, well okay. So, um… how do you like living here so far?”

  “I find it interesting, how about you?” she asked with a big grin on her face.

  “It's not too bad, you know even with the seasons being mixed up and everything,” I said in a sarcastic tone and couldn 't help but smile.

  Yeah, I was lame.

  She smiled anyway, a stunningly beautiful smile, and then she suddenly said, “I have a good feeling that we are going to be good friends Layla.”

  That surprised me a little. “Same here,” I replied anyway, a little confused but just agreeing.

  That wasn wasn't exactly a common thing for new kids to say, but I somehow didn't mind with her. She gave me that same feeling I got with James, but eventually it numbed down after I stopped focusing on it.

  For the rest of the lesson we just talked, about pointless things such as our hair, boys here at school, you know; girl stuff. Elane had told me that she was turning 16yrs old in March and so were her two brothers, but she and James; her twin, were a couple of months older than her youngest brother Sam. Then lastly Jane who was the oldest, was turning seventeen in April and is in grade 11.

  It was all very interesting, knowing about the new students. I guess I was somewhat of a sticky beak and I did often become interested in things that made me curious, and James and Elane definitely made me curious. It also took my mind off things.

  She had gotten to a point where she asked me about my black streak in my hair, but I told her it has been there since I was a kid. I tried to cut it out once but it grew back.

  She laughed at that and said it looked pretty cool, but I was surprised that she even noticed it in my dark brown hair.

  She showed me her weird birthmark on her hand while we were talking about weird and I showed her mine that looked similar to hers. Mine was shaped like a wave and on the top of my arm where the muscle is, but hers was bigger. She also had a tattoo that looked like this: Φύση, on the inside of her left wrist. I asked her what it meant and she answered nature in Greek. Weird word to get tattooed on your wrist I thought. And at sixteen too!

  All in all, Elane was really nice, she kind of gave me hope that there may be things in the world worth living for. Briefly that is.

  At the end of the lesson Elane asked me something that was really unexpected, I wouldn't have expected it from a new student at all.

  “Hey Lays, would you mind meeting my brothers and sister at lunch? Since we're new we're just trying to network.”

  I was still trying to process her request when the bell suddenly rung, and she was staring at me with light blue anxious eyes.

  “Sure, why not,” I agreed after a minute.

  I didn't really want to sit at my lunch table anyway. I would have continued to plot.

  I looked over at her and she was smirking. “We will go to E block, that was where one of my brothers classes was.”

  “Okay,” I simply answered.

&nbs
p; The way she talked was like I was missing some inside joke, but I couldn't be sure.

  We gathered our things, put them in our bags and walked out of class. We started walking towards E block and when we got there I instantly spotted James from my English class. He had a huge grin on his face when he saw me, or he could have been grinning at Elane, I wasn't sure. But he wasn't that much taller than me at five foot nine, he might have even been a little shorter. He was built and broad, which I hadn't noticed much when he was sitting next to me in English. Yeah, admittedly he was very physically attractive. It should be illegal to look like that at sixteen.

  Standing next to him was a shorter slender girl, she didn't have blonde hair, she had pitch-black hair that went oddly well with her faintly tan skin and light blue eyes. Her hair was not as long as Elanes, but it was as wavy as hers was. She was pretty like porcelain doll, as was Elane.

  And there was her last brother, leaning slightly against the brick wall. He had light short brown hair, lighter than mine, slightly a mousse colour, perfect cream coloured skin, he was tall, lean and broad like James, maybe a bit taller, slightly ganglier and he had light green eyes. He looked out of place compared to the others, actually all the Archers looked more mature than others their ages. There was something about them, like they had experienced a lifetime. He stood out most though, he kind of held this weird gaze. He was an outsider.